


Last Friday Night (A.K.A Trish Birthay Bash)

by noxiousSanctity



Series: Last Friday Night [1]
Category: Devil May Cry, DmC: Devil May Cry
Genre: Angry animals, Basically it's last Friday night, F/F, Giraffe Suits, It's all my friends fault, M/M, Please don't hate me I just needed this, Sending me back into Danero Hell, Squirrels, TLC, Thanks Guys, Trust me I'm sorry, hangovers, just read it, lip gloss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 23:18:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3668889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxiousSanctity/pseuds/noxiousSanctity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So It's Trish's Birthday, and almost nobody remembers what happened last night. But they might not have to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Friday Night (A.K.A Trish Birthay Bash)

**Author's Note:**

> Please kill me. Why did I write this.  
> Oh yeah. Because I love my friends. 
> 
> God dammit.

Now that he looked back on it, Nero wasn’t exactly sure where they had gotten the giraffe suit. It wasn’t like you could buy it at any store in the city, or anywhere else he had heard of. But he found that the least of his worries when he woke up after Trish’s Birthday Bash. (She had refused to tell her age, just giving him a drink to shut him up.) It had also been one of the first times he’d ever gotten so smashed he didn’t remember the previous night, although if he was completely honest with himself, he probably didn’t want to remember.

He had woken up with a massive headache and the swirling feeling of regret in his stomach. Blinking a couple of times, he groaned, everything assaulting his way too tired and hungover brain. Maybe laying on the ground a little more would be an alright idea. It was unusually soft after all.

When an echoing groan was heard below him, he decided that maybe he should get up.

Blinking and then squinting in surprise at the sudden noise, he lifted himself slightly, wondering what the hell was going on when he saw it. Or, more like _Him_. Dante, Son of Sparda, was spread on the floor like a fucking starfish. If he wasn’t so disgruntled, he probably would have laughed. Instead he began to get off, sliding almost awkwardly off of the elder demon hunter. “Fuck…” he grumbled, holding his head slightly and sighing a little bit. He wondered if Dante had any kind of hangover remedies in the kitchen or somewhere. Maybe his room? Leaning on the side of the wall for some support, he walked out of where he was and blinked. This looked like a hotel room. Why were they in a hotel? Deciding to sit the fuck down, he went back into the room and stumbled into the bathroom. He flicked on the lights with a hiss. But when his icy eyes adjusted, they widened before reddening in embarrassment.

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

No wonder everything felt soft. And cold. The descriptions could wait about how that made sense, because he was wearing an actual giraffe suit. Not even a onesie! More like shorts with a tail, the pattern of the animal spread evenly over the fleecy fabric. His torso was barely covered, midriff exposing smooth muscles slightly wet with something he was not sober enough (Or drunk enough, for that matter) To even _Begin_ thinking about.

Wow. The things he didn’t want to think about was growing exponentially.

When Dante gave a quick snort, Nero looked out of the door to see the taller man rubbing his temples with a groan. “Morning.” When he looked up, Nero quickly threw himself into the bathroom shutting the door. “Kid?” No. No fucking way he’d let Dante see him like this. “You alright in there?”

“I’m fine!” He said back, wincing at how the sound fucked with his headache even more whilst he leaned against the door. “Just… Looking for medicine for this shitty headache.” He sighed, sliding down the door a little bit more.

“Kid, you seriously don’t think that motels provide advil-“

The door opened, and Nero had never wanted to die more than he did now.

The silence stretched between them like road 66 in the middle of summer, long and thick as fuck. That sounded gay, ignore that. But finally, after the tension filled the air and became thick enough, Dante cut it with a butterknife. “It’s not the weirdest thing, but it works.”

Nero’s head snapped up at the sentence, and his face was dark with shame, humiliation, and just plain rage. “If you say a fucking word about this, I’ll-“ He paused, spotting something within the confines of Dante’s coat.

“Are those my underwear?”

Now it was time for Dante to feel the pressure, as Nero stared with wide eyes and a slowly dropping jaw as the seconds ticked by. Those were in fact his navy blue boxers, the rim a deep crimson. Stiffening, he quckly looked down into his… Shorts… and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw he was wearing another pair. And then he looked at Dante, who was sweating like a whore in church.

“Did you steal those from my fuCKING ROOM?!?”

“Now kid.” Dante raised his hands up in a defensive gesture, and it might have worked if the underwear hanging from one of his pockets weren’t still visible. “I’m sure we can talk about this like civilized people-“ He was cut off when Nero stalked towards him, devil bringer glowing brightly. He snatched the underwear away.

“If you say a single fucking word about any of this to anyone, Dante, I’m going to tell Trish about what you accidentally did to Lady.”

“Sheesh, Kid! Don’t grab me by the nuts. I’ve already been shot more than once by her.” He cracked his neck as Nero blinked. “You try to stop a woman from fighting a tree and you get shot for it.” He grumbled, cracking his fun-natured smile again towards Nero. “But if we’re in a hotel room, where are Lady and Trish? It was their birthday party, why are they suddenly gone?”

“I don’t know, old man!” Nero grumbled, glad he was part demon because the headache was quickly soothing. And memories were returning. He stiffened as he remembered the four of them hanging out in the office. He was pretty sure that there was a _lot_ of bet poker going on, and he distinctly remembered warm but chapped lips, large hands over his-

“…id?...Kid?”

He jolted out of it, ears flaming. “What?” Dante gave him a slightly amused yet worried look. “You still in there, kid? We gotta go find the birthday girl and her …” He did little air quotes, smirking. “…Lady friend.” He laughed at the disgusted groan Nero had sent his way, shaking his head and running his hand through his own hair. “Anyway. We should start looking for them, wouldn’t you think?”

Nero nodded and sighed, shifting a little bit. “Are there… Any clothes? Like, around?” No way he was going out as a hooker giraffe. That was final. “Where are my clothes?”

“No idea, kid.” Dante shrugged, a smug look on his face. “Looks like we have to get back to the office and get you some clothing. Bet it’s on the floor in the front.” At Nero’s horrified look, Dante laughed and pushed Nero out the door, paying the bewildered woman at the front enough to cover the night plus a generous tip to keep her from wondering too much. Leading Nero, he called up a taxi, giving the younger his Jacket to cover his body, much to Dante’s slight dismay. He could still snatch some underwear.

~*~*~

The ride back was uneventful, but watching Nero rush upstairs to change into something else was hilarious until his jacket got thrown into his face. Dante sighed and surveyed the office. Surprisingly, it wasn’t actually that trashed, just a little worse for wear. He could always fix the desk. He remembered the intense arm wrestling contest between himself and lady, ending up in a tie because the great oak had split clean in half.

Lady was one scary woman.

He shuffled into the kitchen, mourning the loss of the pizza boxes Trish had thrown at him the previous night. The remains were splattered onto the wall, and he shrugged, knowing it would bother Nero enough to get him to clean it. He was never a very productive man.

Nero. If that wasn’t the highlight of the night (Other than Trish trying to fight a tree naked; VERY entertaining), he wouldn’t know what would be. Turns out, Nero was a very in-your-face drunk, though he got shy when it was returned to him. He would spit out cuss words but unless it was one of the girls, he would back down slightly from Dante.

After that passionate kissing from last night, he now knew why.

It wasn’t even planned, he thought as he sat down on his chair, waiting for the boy in question to finish primping his hair or whatever. It was just one of those minutes of drunkenness when he had reached for another beer and instead ended up with a drunk Nero staring him dead in the eye with a determined glare. As soon as he had looked up, their mouths met and it wasn’t the most clean kiss, though possibly the most passionate greeting he’d had in years. He didn’t really remember if this was before or after the giraffe suit. All he had really remembered was that Nero definitely wore lipgloss. It tasted like strawberries, which had made him smirk. He also had had a really nice ass. Killing demons would do that for anyone, he supposed. But why is it that Nero’s ass was the nicest he had ever touched in a long time?

He decided not to dwell on it as the door slammed open and a bullet embedded in his skull.

As he fell, Lady and Trish hobbled in. Trish had most of her clothes on, but Lady was practically naked, only a drop cloth covering her. There were leaves and branches and acorns in both of their hair, and before Dante could make another crack about ‘Romping in the roses’, The gun clicked. “Not a word, Dante.”

“What is with everyone and trying to kill me today?” He wondered aloud, but stood up, pulling out a small bottle of medicine and tossing it to the girls. Lady caught it easily, looking like she just saw two squirrels fornicate on her bedroom window. Trish seemed more composed, but she too seemed tired and in need of a nap. “Where were you two anyway?”

“Fortuna.” At Dante’s surprised look, Trish rolled her eyes and gently kissed Lady, pushing her upstairs and towards a bedroom, not giving a fuck which one it was. “I don’t really remember much of what had happened or how we got there, only that when we woke up, there were a bunch of angry forest animals.” She glared at Dante. “VERY angry forest animals.”

“Bambi II: The forest strikes back, huh?” At the sound of her gun, he raised his hands. “Hey, hey, I don’t mean harm. You two should go upstairs, sleep it off. “ He looked pointedly at her gun. “And not shoot me.”

Trish smirked and put it away, sighing. “I’m probably gonna do that. We didn’t get as much sex in as I had hoped.” She smirked at him. “She’s incredible when she’s completely reckless.” At Dante’s disgusted look, she waved at him and heavily walked upstairs, flopping down in the area Dante knew was his own room. Not like he could even try and get them to move.

He would just have to wait until Sunday to really talk about what happened Friday night.


End file.
